For all of the social media griping about the company, Disney doesn’t make many mistakes at the theme parks. Sometimes, Disney gets rightfully drilled, though.
For example, the company once built an attraction so disgraceful that it closed after 11 months! Disney miscalculated several aspects of the attraction, and the company suffered some misfortunes to boot. Let’s take a look at what went wrong with Superstar Limo.
The plan for Superstar Limo
Disney’s CEO during the 1990s, Michael Eisner, accelerated several projects during the self-proclaimed Disney Decade. He wanted to double attendance at Disneyland by building a second gate. After the original WestCOT plans fell asunder, the company pivoted toward a less enticing proposition.
Imagineers would construct Disney California Adventure as the other place at the Happiest Place on Earth. This plan centered on a thrill ride called Superstar Limo. Guests would put themselves in the shoes of celebrities for a few minutes, racing to sign their next movie contract before the paparazzi found out.
Eisner, a former movie studio boss, wanted to appear in the attraction. He would add gravitas to the mission, as he sent guests to the world-famous Chinese Theater. Disney’s plans included several synergistic opportunities, one of which was that Disney’s Hollywood Studios already claimed a modified version of this landmark.
Sadly, an event that we’ll discuss during the final section prevented Disney from building a fast version of Superstar Limo. It would have been in poor taste. So, the most exciting part of the premise, a dark ride with an adrenaline surge, got thrown out.
With the spice removed from the attraction, park officials were left with a bland concept. Even worse, Disney had intended Superstar Limo to become one of the four anchor attractions at Disney California Adventure, along with Soarin’, the Sun Wheel, and California Screamin’.
The flaws with the theming
Because he was a Hollywood insider, Eisner displayed the same weakness that many executives possess. He lacked an understanding of what movie lovers covet. He genuinely believed that people would buy tickets to a new theme park to feel like a rising Hollywood celebrity for a time. It was among the worst miscalculations of his career.
Superstar Limo’s theme tied into Disney California Adventure’s core flaw. Park planners believed that a California park celebrating the state of California would appeal to people. So, the ride added all of the trappings of celebrity.
The moment that guests boarded the ride, they interacted with Swifty La Rue, presumably the rider’s agent. This one-dimensional cliché of a Hollywood agent spouted the kind of drivel that would have felt dated back in the 1960s.
The agent’s sleazy vibe alienated everyone, and his appearance on the embedded monitor somehow exacerbated the perception. His face would pop up at the most awkward moments, like a lurker in the bushes.
The flaws with the “celebrities”
Imagineers constructed the attraction by dividing it into sections. To emphasize the novelty of each part, Disney added celebrities. The (bad) idea involved the rider’s excitement over these famous people taking an interest in interacting with the rising star.
For whatever reason, Disney struggled to attract A-list talent for the ride. I’m going to list the celebrities that theme park tourists encountered during Superstar Limo:
- Tim Allen
- Antonio Banderas
- Drew Carey
- Jackie Chan
- Cher
- Cindy Crawford
- Whoopi Goldberg
- Melanie Griffith
- Regis Philbin
- Joan Rivers
Depending on your age, you may know some/most of these names. In fact, you might even have an image in your head of each one. How many would you consider A-list Hollywood talent? And I don’t mean today. I mean ever. Tim Allen’s a topflight sitcom actor and the voice of Buzz Lightyear. Generally, his live-action movie career’s been a bust, though, Galaxy Quest notwithstanding.
Drew Carey and Whoopi Goldberg host a game show and talk show, and the latter woman has won the prestigious EGOT. Jackie Chan remains one of the most famous celebrities from China and has probably had the most box office success in North America, thanks to Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon. And everyone loves Regis for his comforting presence.
None of them are even remotely A-list celebrities, though. They’re closer to the cast of Celebrity Big Brother. Also, Disney somehow made the situation worse by creating creepy recreations of these people.
Whoopi Goldberg looked like she had pants made out of a trash bag. Tim Allen seemed more like Frankenstein wearing a suit. The whole thing was an abomination, and even the people involved with the project knew it.
The tragic news story that ruined Superstar Limo
Given everything we’ve discussed so far, Superstar limo faced an uphill battle in gaining and sustaining a fan base. However, on top of all the mistakes that Disney made along the way, the theming on Superstar Limo undercut the attraction due to a car accident.
Disney California Adventure’s scheduled opening date was February 8, 2001. On August 31, 1997, Diana, the Princess of Wales, died in a car accident. On the surface, these two incidents seem wholly unconnected. The latter event profoundly impacted the attraction, though.
At the time, Princess Diana had gained worldwide media attention due to her boyfriend, Dodi Fayed, the son of an Egyptian billionaire. The pairing rivaled anything in a movie, as the woman who’d married into royalty then fell in love with a wealthy man who had only recently become engaged to a model.
The scandalous situation enflamed the paparazzi community. These predatory photographers saw dollar signs for every picture of Diana and Dodi together. The couple tried to escape the press by speeding through a Paris tunnel.
Their limousine driver had drank and taken prescription drugs. An investigation later revealed that his impaired driving caused the fatal accident. Neither Dodi nor Diana wore a seatbelt during this attempt to escape the paparazzi and died on the scene. While the same investigation determined that no photographers were in close pursuit at the time, news reports blamed the media for the incident.
Disney park planners failed to take this incident into account while constructing Superstar Limo. They had plenty of time during those three and a half years to alter the plans but misread society. As regular citizens lost all trust in the paparazzi, Disney California Adventure constructed a ride that placed people behind the wheel of a limousine as the press chased them.
Final thoughts
History remembers Superstar Limo as the worst attraction ever built. I’ve got no opinion on this statement, as I’ve seen a lot of bad rides over the years.
However, people should and do expect more from Disney. Based on those standards, it might throw under everything else relative to expectations. While that part is debatable, I sincerely believe that Superstar Limo holds the dishonor of being the worst Disney attraction of the 21st century.
To a larger point, Disney should have killed this idea the moment that Princess Diana’s car crash occurred. On top of all the other flaws, the attraction’s premise clearly alienated people and seemed skeezy in the aftermath of that tragedy.
After only 11 months, Disney shuttered Superstar Limo in favor of Monsters, Inc. Mike & Sulley to the Rescue! During the three-year gap between the attractions, an unused ride building satisfied as many guests as Superstar Limo had when it was open.
