It’s been a very long time since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles last graced a theme park with their totally tubular presence. The early ’90s was the height of “Turtle Mania”, the period in which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles became a global pop culture phenomenon, owing thanks to the 1987 cartoon series of the same name, the 1990 live-action film, and, of course, the waves of toy lines that dominated stores all around the world.
As such, it came as no surprise that the Turtles found their way into Walt Disney World in Florida (perhaps they’d snuck in using a sewer system). Disney’s Hollywood Studios, then known as Disney’s MGM Studios, hosted Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, and Donatello as they took to the streets of the park’s “New York City”, putting on a show for guests by cruising in their Turtle Party Van (now more commonly known as the “Shellraiser”, and then hitting the stage).
There, they’d team up with their news reporter-friend April O’Neil, who’d belt out the iconic ’80s cartoon intro (you know how it goes). The song “Turtle Power” by Partners in Kryme, which was used in the 1990 live-action movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), was also given tribute. The Turtles – actors in costumes, of course – were also inspired by the insanely-popular cartoon design, and they would end each show with their well-known high-five and “Cowabunga”.
As we know, their tenure at Disney’s Hollywood Studios wasn’t a permanent one, and not only that, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was never even owned by Disney. At the time, the House of Mouse hosted many properties that weren’t theirs (although we’re sure that, in time, they’ll probably make some kind of move on the pizza-munching reptiles, seeing as they own almost everything else, from Star Wars to Marvel).
But is there a place for the Ninja Turtles in a modern-day theme park setting? Whether it’s a Disney theme park resort or a Universal Studios one, are they just as relevant as they once were? Well, the short answer is yes – they are most definitely still relevant. There are, after all, two theatrical movies on the horizon; one an animated film from producer Seth Rogen, and the other a live-action reboot from SNL writers/brothers Casey and Colin Jost.
Earlier this year, Paramount also confirmed that a number of additional Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, each of them focused on a villain from the franchise, will arrive on their streaming service Paramount+ some time during 2023. And then there are the video games – recently, arcade-inspired beat ’em up game Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge (2022) hit shelves, followed shortly by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Cowabunga Collection (2022).
So, let’s imagine that the Ninja Turtles return to a theme park near you. But rather than just thinking of what an attraction might look like, let’s think a little bigger. Not many franchises have enjoyed their own “mania” like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles did, so as such, it’s only fair that they’re given their very own themed land! And here’s exactly how we think Disney or Universal Studios should do it…
5. Themed Land Environment
First of all, it goes without saying that the Ninja Turtles are at their most comfortable in New York City, so a recreation of the Big Apple, whether it’s Times Square or another district would be perfect. Sky-high rises (okay, not quite as big as they are in Manhattan) and faux views of iconic locations such as Central Park and the Statue of Liberty would add to the immersivity.
This themed wouldn’t occupy the land in its entirely, though. Sure, the themed land will all be New York-based, so to speak, but there will also be other areas, such as ’80s-inspired, graffiti-sprayed alleyways where The Shredder’s Foot Soldiers might be lurking (actors, of course), where, if you’re lucky, you might see the heroes-in-a-half-shell appear to save the day!
And they would either emerge “out of the shadows”, or from one of many manholes that would be dotted about the themed land – some fake, some that actually lead to tunnels beneath the land not unlike Disney World’s “Utili-doors” that help characters move about the park unseen by guests. These ones, however, would come with a bit of a twist…
4. Sewer-Like Utilidoors
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might like to stalk the streets of Manhattan looking for criminals every once in a while, but, as you know, they spend most of their time hiding and living down in the labyrinthine network that is the New York City sewers and subway system, with the humanoid mutant rat Master Splinter.
How awesome would it be to be able to access some of these areas, and even see the Turtles Lair itself? You could check out Donatello’s surveillance system, Michelangelo’s pizza-licious kitchen, Raphael’s gym, Leonardo’s training dojo, and Master Splinter’s meditation room, not to mention where they store vehicles such as the Shellraiser and even the Turtles Blimp!
Aesthetically, we think a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-themed land would work best if it adopted the style of the 1987 cartoon. After all, it’s popping with colour, and is among one of the more recognizable and beloved iterations of the half-shell heroes. But don’t worry – these wouldn’t be your average sewers and subway systems, and the only thing they’d smell of is cheesy pizza!
3. Underground Attraction
The sewers leads us nicely onto the next must-have features – attractions. You can’t have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-themed land without at least two signature attractions, and one of them would have to be located down in the land’s sewer system (perhaps “underground” is a far more appealing word).
An underground-based attraction would easily work as a dark and slow river-based ride. You’d drift along shallow rivers through massive cylindrical tunnels, and you’d pass state-of-the-art audio-animatronic Ninja Turtles, as well as villains such as The Shredder, Bebop, Rocksteady, and the Foot Soldiers, and even April O’Neil, Splinter, and Casey Jones!
All the while, the iconic 1987 cartoon intro theme would play, along with some original tracks created specifically for the themed land, of course. And though we said this would be a slow, river-based ride, what’s a water-based ride without a big of a drop at the end? But don’t worry – the Ninja Turtles would be keeping an eye out…
2. City-Based Attraction
Now that we’re back on the surface, we can add a ride that’s a lot faster and a lot more adrenalin-fuelled. This is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, after all, and though we said that they like to stalk both the city streets and the sewers, you’ll also be familiar with their skyline antics too. In fact, the Ninja Turtles are as synonymous with the NYC skyline as Spider-Man.
So, remember what we said about the Turtles Blimp? Well, seeing as we would have a Na’vi River Ride-inspired Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles attraction, then why not go all out and have an Avatar Flight of Passage-inspired attraction too. That’s right – a flying 3D simulator attraction, but this time forget blue characters – in the TMNT-themed land, it’s all about the green.
Strap in as you board the Turtles Blimp ready for a skyline adventure, which will see you weave between towering Manhattan buildings, skim low over Central Park, or the Hudson River, and then over the Statue of Liberty. But this isn’t some excursion – the Turtles have some day-saving to attend to, as the likes of The Shredder and his Foot Soldiers decide to attack the city!
1. Character Greetings
Last but not least, you can’t have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-themed land without all the appropriate characters. Heroes, villains, those who operate in that grey area in the middle – all of them. Okay, maybe not all, but the most iconic ones, of course, like all those already mentioned. But at the very least, our four favourite pizza-munching turtles.
Character greetings and interactions would be a must, and we can’t think of better costumes than the Jim Henson ones used in the 1990 live-action film. Although, with that said, if we’re going for the 1987 cartoon-themed look, then we’ll have to stay on brand and keep the Ninja Turtles equally colourful and happy like their animated on-screen counterparts.
And, needless to say, the land would also need to feature appropriately-themed retail outlets and eateries. Where the latter is concerned, we can’t think of anything more appropriate than Michelangelo’s Pizza Shack. Or perhaps even Master Splinter’s Sushi Bar.
Now we only have one thing left to say – Cowabunga!
