We all love going to Walt Disney World — it’s truly the perfect escape. It’s a place that is so intricately designed, and so wonderfully built out, that it’s impossible not to feel like you’re finally able to relax and turn your brain off while you’re there.
But, while we do all love it, it’s impossible to deny that there are downsides. Yes, it’s expensive. Yes, it’s way down in Florida. Yes, your friends might think you’re lame. But those are all relatively simple to overcome. It’s expensive, but you can try to save up. It’s in Florida, but that’s just a plane ride away. You friends will think you’re lame, but who cares?
The hardest thing to overcome about a Disney vacation, however, is this one basic fact: It will ruin your daily life for you.
There are things in your life you’ll never be able to look at the same way again after a trip to Disney. You’ll enjoy them, sure, but you’ll never be able to experience them without a nagging reminder that Disney’s versions blow them away.
Let’s break down a few:
Buses
Image: princessashley, Flickr (license)
OK, so maybe you don’t exactly enjoy buses in your normal life. In fact, you might only even be able to tolerate them at best. If you live in a city, you might use one to commute. If you don’t, you might use one to go on a quick chartered trip somewhere like a beach or a ski mountain.
But it’s hard to deny that Disney’s buses are so convenient and so different from the normal bus experience, that a normal city bus feels extra depressing in comparison.
Think of how bright, clean, and welcoming the Disney buses are. Think of how friendly and calm the bus drivers are. Think of the excitement in people’s eyes as they board that bus, knowing full well the thrills that await them when they disembark.
But even more than that, Disney’s Magical Express redefines the charter bus experience — providing charming entertainment and comfortable transfers from Orlando International Airport to your Disney resort of choice. If you’ve ever taken non-Disney transit from an airport to a hotel anywhere else in the world, you’ll know that the experience is as soul-crushing as Disney’s is charming. Once you’ve done it the Disney way, there’s no going back.
Hotels
Image: Jared Lee, Flickr (license)
On a related note, Disney’s hotels are so unique and special, that you’ll find even the most luxurious hotels around the world are difficult to have match up. A combination of theming, service, cuisine, landscaping, and amenities make the Disney resorts a vacation unto themselves.
That’s not to say that there aren’t lovely hotels elsewhere around the world, but they lack the same comfortable and playful theming that make Disney’s hotels feel like their own class. The Plaza in New York City might have beautiful decorations, or the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles might have incredible service. But what they have in decor or training, they miss in overall vibe.
A Disney hotel feels like how a hotel feels in your imagination. When you close your eyes to go to sleep and picture yourself in on a beach the south seas, what you’re imagining likely resembles the Polynesian Village Resort quite a bit. When you imagine yourself in a New England shoreside hotel, you’re likely picturing something much like the Yacht and Beach Club.
Disney captures the feel of what a hotel should be better than just about anyone else. Try staying in one elsewhere again, and you’ll be disappointed.
3D Movies
Image: frankfranc, Flickr (license)
Nowadays, you can go to your local multiplex and pay a large amount of money to watch a movie in 3D. And, for some, that experience is luxurious enough to warrant the extra ticket price. But, while those movies might be in 3D, they likely aren’t as memorable for their effects as they are their general storylines.
Plus, if you’ve ever been to a Disney Park, you’ll know that they don’t even begin to scratch the surface of what 3D films can do.
Much of the 3D you see at the local multiplex is not actually shot in 3D, but is instead rendered into 3D in post-production — a process that makes the 3D appear flatter. Similarly, the technology used to show these films is such that, in most cases, the finished product will appear dimmer and blurrier than if you were to watch the same film in 2D.
Disney, on the other hand, shoots all of its movies natively in 3D, and they use technology to ensure the projection systems are higher quality. The result is truly spectacular imagery like you’ll find in Mickey’s Philharmagic or It’s Tough to Be a Bug, or even the practical effects found in the ever-charming MuppetVision 3D. Once you’ve seen proper 3D animation and filming, it’s hard to go back to the local cinema version.
Parades
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Now, in fairness, Disney’s concept of a “parade” is much different than your local town’s parade. Disney is advertising its intellectual properties as much as anything, so there’s no space for the local VFW or rotary club. And, yes, those organizations are probably more worthy of celebration than a multi-billion dollar movie.
But, there’s no arguing that what Disney does with its parades is so wildly above and beyond what even a local amusement park can do, it’s hard to ever attend something called a “parade” ever again.
Electric lights, fire effects, synchronized music, and amazing choreography turn what would otherwise be an ordinary procession of floats into a multi-sensory experience. If you see a parade like, say, Paint the Night out at the Disneyland Resort or Festival of Fantasy at Magic Kingdom, it will ruin the entire concept of parades for you forever.
The local municipal parade is definitely more charming, more important, and more authentic, but if they could maybe add one flaming dragon, we’d all be grateful.
Shopping Malls
Image: Ron Cogswell, Flickr (license)
In the United States, at least, shopping malls have had a rough start to the new millennium. The advent of online shopping has taken a toll on the once-ubiquitous part of teenage life. New shopping malls are exceptionally rare nowadays, and the ones that do still exist often are in need of renovation.
Compare that to, say, Disney Springs. Yeah, I know — it’s not even remotely fair.
And yet, at its core, that’s what Disney Springs is — a shopping mall. You’ll find a lot of the same stores at Disney Springs that you’d find in your local mall, but interspersed between those stores is incredible food, gorgeous landscaping, and enough entertainment to replace a park day.
There was once a time that the gap between Disney’s mall and the local version wasn’t all that big — particularly when Downtown Disney was feeling a bit dated and the Mills brand of shopping malls was in an expansionary mode. But that tide has largely turned, and it’s hard to go back to the real life version of a mall after you’ve tried Disney’s version.
Fireworks
Image: frankfranc, Flickr (license)
The easiest way to tell a Disney Parks fan from a non-Disney Parks fan comes every year on the Fourth of July. As you gather with friends to enjoy America’s Birthday with all of the spectacle and fun that comes with it — cookouts, lawn games, and yes, fireworks — there comes a part of the day when everyone sits down in a large public area to enjoy the town fireworks spectacle.
And, no matter where you watch these fireworks — from New York City to Pahrump, Nevada — the Disney fan will be the one who says, when it’s all over, “That’s it, huh?”
Disney isn’t just in its own class when it comes to fireworks — it’s in its own universe. Every single night, for half a century give or take, Disney has wowed visitors with an astonishing display of fireworks. Over time, they’ve become so good at it, that there are Disney fans who forego local fireworks all together just to watch internet streams of their preferred versions in Florida or California.
And while the nightly versions in Magic Kingdom or Disneyland are better than your local Fourth of July celebration, Disney’s celebration of that holiday is so absurdly mind-blowing that it’s not even remotely fair to compare them to anything else.
If you’ve never been to the Magic Kingdom — or its surrounding resorts — to watch Disney’s Fourth of July fireworks, it’s almost to the point that it’s hard to recommend that you do. Yes, they’re beautiful and yes, they’re absolutely incredible to see.
But, if you do go, they’ll ruin every other fireworks show for you for the rest of your life.
