Let me guess: someone in your life is dragging you to Walt Disney World, and there are few places you’d rather be less.
To you, a visit to the Vacation Kingdom is like getting a root canal from a musical theater major – long, painful and needlessly chipper. But fear not, trepidatious traveller; there are attractions for you to enjoy too.
Like anything at Walt Disney World, the following ten attractions require something of an open mind to truly enjoy them, but as long as you’re willing, you should be plenty entertained.
Editor’s note: Yes, fellow Disney fans…there really are family members who don’t like the Mouse. If you’re travelling to Walt Disney World with one of them, we hope this article helps out.
9. Kilimanjaro Safaris
Where it is: Africa, Disney’s Animal Kingdom
What it is: A recreation of an African safari.
Why you’ll like it: The secret to Walt Disney World is that every attraction, hotel, restaurant and sidewalk tells a story. What changes from ride to ride and park to park is how Disney Imagineers choose to tell that story.
Kilimanjaro Safaris’ method of storytelling is rather simple: you experience live animals, and you experience them up close. The animals are completely real and not trained in any way, meaning that each ride is different and subject to the whims of nature.
The scenery is beautiful, the animals are majestic and the experience feels far more authentic anything else at Walt Disney World – the lack of singing animals and dancing princesses probably has something to do with that.
8. Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin
Where it is: Tomorrowland, Disney’s Magic Kingdom
What it is: Arcade-style shooting gallery.
Why you’ll like it: For the five glorious minutes you experience this attraction, your only concern is taking your standard-issue laser gun and firing it at “Z”-shaped targets. No need to worry about dinner reservations, Fastpass+, or the long walk to the bus.
Laser. Guns.
Each target you hit on your journey gives you a certain amount of points, and when the ride is over, you can compare scores with the rest of your party to determine who is the master marksman of the bunch.
After long plane rides, cramped hotels, and oppressive heat, beating your travel partner in some form of competition can be a small bit of paradise. Or, at the very least, it’s an acceptable way to let out some pent-up aggression.
7. Expedition Everest
Where it is: Asia, Disney’s Animal Kingdom
What it is: A mine train roller coaster.
Why you’ll like it: Expedition Everest takes you on a journey to the Forbidden Mountain, where you’ll encounter the dreaded Yeti and experience a train ride that doesn’t go entirely according to plan.
While the rest of your party kills their time waiting in line by checking their phones or chatting about the rest of the day’s plans, you, the Disney Hater, should take a moment to look around. Disney went to great effort to recreate the native architecture, culture and feel of the Himalayas – even going so far as to build a museum dedicated to the Yeti.
The ride is, of course, a thrill – but its queue can be just as enjoyable for the more culturally-curious or architecturally-savvy vacationers.
6. People watching
Where it is: Anywhere!
What it is: The most effective way to kill time anywhere in the Walt Disney World resort.
Why you’ll like it: If people watching were a sport, Walt Disney World would be its Super Bowl.
Literally millions of people visit Walt Disney World each year, and those millions all have their own unique story to tell. It just so happens that for a brief moment, you’ve entered their story and get to watch it unfold: temper tantrums, proposals, family reunions, breakups, honeymoons – you name it, it’s all there to be seen.
If you find yourself bored or exhausted at any moment on your vacation, just find the nearest bench and watch the world go by. Those stories can even be more compelling than the rides.
5. Pangani Forest Exploration Trail
Where it is: Africa, Disney’s Animal Kingdom
What it is: A self-guided walking tour/zoological exhibit.
Why you’ll like it: Disney’s Animal Kingdom is easily the most zen of Disney’s theme parks. There are fewer attractions here than the Magic Kingdom, more natural beauty than Epcot, and more places to explore than the Hollywood Studios.
When you find yourself in one of those spots ripe for exploring, such as Pangani Forest Exploration Trail, the artifice of Disney can recede, and the surrounding natural beauty can trick you into believing it’s not just a massive commercial enterprise.
You know – just for a second.
4. Pirates of the Caribbean
Where it is: Adventureland, Disney’s Magic Kingdom
What is is: A slow-moving pirate-themed boat ride.
Why you’ll like it: The short answer? Pirates. The slightly longer answer?
Pirates of the Caribbean is one of the most influential themed attractions on earth, consistently being hailed for its immersive, aesthetically complete story. The version at Disneyland in California is thought to be the more definitive iteration, but Florida’s ride is excellent, too.
What may surprise you is that this ride doesn’t shy away from the less family-friendly side of old-time piracy. Sure, there’s a catchy Sherman Brothers song and, yes, they’ve even added Captain Jack Sparrow to the mix. In the middle of it all, however, are pirates torturing politicians, auctioning off women, and drinking themselves silly. It’s not exactly a gritty reboot, but it perfectly portrays why some people find the pirate lifestyle so fascinating.
And why a pirate’s life is not for everyone.
3. Polynesian Beach
Where it is: Disney’s Polynesian Resort, on the shore of the Seven Seas Lagoon.
What it is: A beautiful beachfront relaxation spot.
Why you’ll like it: One of the great pleasures of a Florida vacation is relaxing in the sun on a beach. If you think that you can’t get that experience while you’re at Disney World … well, you’re mostly right. But the closest you’ll come is on the sandy beaches of Disney’s Polynesian Resort.
You can’t actually swim in the Seven Seas Lagoon, but with sand under your toes and a freshwater swimming pool nearby, relaxing with a fruity beverage and a nice book here can be almost as good as the real thing.
2. World Showcase
Where it is: Epcot.
What is is: Twelve different pavilions showcasing the culture of foreign lands.
What you’ll like it: The twelve nations of World Showcase – Mexico, Norway, China, Germany, Italy, the United States, China, Japan, Morocco, France, the United Kingdom and Canada – are all represented by a pavilion showcasing their food, art, fashion, wine and many other elements of their culture.
The real reason you’ll love it is because this is the best spot in all of Walt Disney World to grab a great bite to eat and a delicious something to drink.
While the rest of your party heads off to Hollywood Studios to ride Toy Story Mania, you can hang behind and eat your way around the world, trying one dish at each country. Or, if you’re over 21 (and have a buddy – be safe!), you can sample some local adult beverages at each exotic locale.
Either way, hating Disney doesn’t have to include hating food, right?
1. Soarin’
Image: Disney
Where it is: The Land Pavilion, Epcot
What it is: Motion simulator.
Why you’ll like it: The idea for Disneyland came to Walt Disney as he watched his daughters play at a local park in Los Angeles. Surely, he thought, there could be a place where adults and their children could play together and experience rides and shows designed to entertain them both.
Over half a century later, that dream has no better modern home than on Soarin’.
The ride is simply a motion simulator recreating the experience of hang-gliding. It’s not particularly thrilling or nausea-inducing, but instead creates one of the closest analogues to flying you’ll find on terra firma.
You may never be a Disney lover, but Soarin’ can offer you a glimpse into what Disney World looks like through a Disney lover’s eyes.
When guests talk about the “Disney magic,” this is what they’re talking about; they see it in every ride, show and hotel on the property. It’s not the same for you, and that’s perfectly OK.
But those 3 minutes on Soarin’ are probably the closest you’ll come to feeling it – and what’s a Disney vacation without a little magic?
