What’s life without a little controversy? Are you someone who’s not afraid to hold a minority opinion? Hey, I never much cared for Star Wars or The Beatles, so I’m right there with you. Many Disney philosophies fly in the face of convention, too. And I’m going to prove that right now. Here is my list of the most overrated and underrated attractions at every Walt Disney World theme park.
The “Please don’t kill me” preface
Image: DisneyLook, everyone has favorites at Walt Disney World, and other rides fall into the category of “iconic” attractions. They’re so revered that any slight against them seems like blasphemy. Even so, there’s a secondary aspect to name recognition. Some brands deserve it more than others.
For example, you know Nickelback. But do you like Nickelback? You almost assuredly answered no. I happen to have several Nickelback songs on my phone. Already, you can tell that I have questionable taste, at least according to the majority of society.
Then, a secondary factor comes into play. Expectations always matter. The sequel to a famous movie gets judged by a higher standard than an unknown release. In a vacuum, I suspect that most Disney fans would agree that Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is an objectively good movie. However, its Rotten Tomatoes score of 53 percent is substantially lower than Mary Poppins Returns.
Image: DisneyThis bit of odd judging happened despite the fact that Dead Man’s Chest has received a better IMDb score (7.3 vs. 6.8) and was, at one point, the most successful opening weekend blockbuster ever. Both movies are good, but Dead Man’s Chest suffered against a weight of unreasonable expectations.
Meanwhile, demand for a Mary Poppins sequel wasn’t especially high when Disney finally made the movie. Anything with lowered expectations generally gets judged less harshly. That philosophy will prove important during this exercise. A title that nobody thinks about is more likely to qualify as underrated. Conversely, the most beloved attractions must meet a higher standard to justify their status. You can probably guess where this is going…
Magic Kingdom
Image: DisneyThis statement might not sound like much, but virtually all iconic Magic Kingdom attractions deserve their reputations. They’re universally terrific save for noteworthy exception. Yes, I’m amount to irritate some folks…
Space Mountain
Image: DisneyPerhaps I’m being a bit hypocritical here. After all, during a park visit, I’m the one always pushing the rest of my party to ride Space Mountain. I don’t think of a day at Magic Kingdom as complete until I’ve taken this journey into darkness.
Despite my love of this roller coaster, I must acknowledge the facts. It set a standard for adrenaline rides that other parks and attractions have topped repeatedly over the years. After roughly 45 years in operation, Space Mountain’s success works against it. Today, it’s a rough, dizzying ride through the darkness that doesn’t seem particularly impressive.
There’s a reason why park officials have altered the attraction everywhere but at Magic Kingdom. Many of them understand that it’s an anachronistic relic, but it still claims the reputation of one of the greatest roller coasters in the world. While Space Mountain will always hold a place in the annals of theme park history, it’s simply not on that level today.
Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover
Image: DisneyOn the other hand, the line to the most underrated ride at Magic Kingdom begins less than 100 feet away from the most overrated one. The attraction that we all know and love as the PeopleMover isn’t what it’s supposed to be.
In some alternate universe, one where Walt Disney didn’t contract lung cancer and die too soon, an Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow anchors the state of Florida, possibly the entire south. In this reality, cars aren’t the primary source of travel within the city limits. Instead, guests board these convenient trams and ride directly to their destinations.
Sadly, we live in a different reality, one where the PeopleMover works as a lovely distraction when guests are tired. It’s where everyone goes to catch a quick glance at the Progress City model before riding through other Tomorrowland attractions. And it’s still wonderful in this form. The PeopleMover provides a relaxing respite and a bittersweet look at what might have been.
Epcot
Image: DisneyI fervently believe that all of the E-ticket attractions at Epcot, the one in the top FastPass tier, are exceptional. I know that Maelstrom loyalists take issue with some aspects of Frozen Ever After. Others vent about the technical glitches in Soarin’, and everyone accepts that Test Track will break down from time to time. They’re phenomenal rides, though. So, picking an overrated attraction isn’t that easy.
Mission: SPACE
Image: DisneyAfter a bit of internal debate, I decided that Mission: SPACE deserves the title of most overrated Epcot attraction. I feel this way because it’s never lived up to its hype.
Imagineers worked closely with NASA officials and actual astronauts. Their intended goal seemed reasonable. Disney could create the greatest space simulation ever, giving its guests insight into the challenges of becoming an astronaut.
Alas, all that they really proved is that most people don’t have the right stuff. Space travel humbles all but the most impressive physical specimens. And nobody visits Walt Disney World to feel bad about themselves.
Even after a decade of frequent modifications, this ride still doesn’t work particularly well. I view it in the same light as the current version of Journey into Imagination with Figment. It’s just not very good, and that’s unacceptable for a Disney attraction.
Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros
Image: DisneyHey, it’s my list! Okay, I realize that some people will roll their eyes at this one, which is fine. To me, Gran Fiesta Tour has evolved into the improved version of It’s a Small World. While the older and more storied attraction receives all of the acclaim, the staple of the Mexico Pavilion is a lot more fun.
No matter how wonderful and artistically impressive Mary Blair’s puppets are, It’s a Small World will always feel a bit repetitious, at least until Disney finally honors the Geneva Convention and takes the song off a continuous loop. Gran Fiesta Tour is nowhere near as repetitive.
Each of its set pieces features a different look and style. Plus, the Three Caballeros cartoons inject a dose of silliness into the proceedings. Donald Duck’s the frequent recipient of slapstick cartoon violence, and I love the musical accompaniments as he suffers in various hilarious ways.
To a larger point, Epcot’s not a place where many attractions feel underrated, either. I think that the perception of every ride at this park is just about right.
Disney’s Hollywood Studios
Image: DisneyThis park remains in flux at the moment, although the recent additions of Toy Story Land and Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge have certainly improved it dramatically. I could make an argument that three or four attractions are perennially underrated here, but I only feel that one is even a viable consideration as overrated.
Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith
Image: DisneyI’m going to start this by stating in unequivocal terms that I love Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. I think it packs a wallop and dwarfs Space Mountain in terms of Disney coaster quality.
Even so, I have to be honest about what it is. Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster is a very short ride. In impolite terms, if you had a physical encounter this brief, you would not go back for seconds. You would totally ghost the person.
Depending on what you define as the start, this roller coaster takes as little as 80 seconds. That’s…not great, especially for something with an average wait-time of nearly an hour. That’s too much foreplay and not enough cuddling.
Alien Swirling Saucers
Image: Disney
Sometimes, Disney fans frustrate me with their rush to judgment. Toy Story Land suffered through a smear campaign before it ever opened. Once it did, critics assailed one of the attractions for seeming cheap and pointless. They perhaps predictability abbreviated Alien Swirling Saucers down to three letters, and the idea has stuck than it’s not very good.
I don’t get that at all. Alien Swirling Saucers is an absolute joy to ride. When two people sit together in a single alien spacecraft, the ride becomes a form of Human Demolition Derby. It’s like Disney has given you a legal excuse to smash into your friend. I suspect that some of the genius of the sensation falls apart with three riders, which may be why so many folks don’t like it. But I’m right while everybody else is wrong about Alien Swirling Saucers. It’s one of the best rides at Hollywood Studios.
Disney’s Animal Kingdom
Image: DisneyI sincerely hope that you didn’t waste your outrage before now because I’m about to set you off. While I adore Pandora – The World of Avatar for its sublime theming, I believe that people have the pecking order of the rides backwards. Yes, I’m serious.
Avatar Flight of Passage
Image: DisneyI realize that you wouldn’t look at me any angrier right now if I implied that your mother is overweight and promiscuous. I feel pretty strongly about this one, though.
Even this long after its debut, Avatar Flight of Passage still maintains its status as one of the top five rides at Walt Disney World. And it currently has the longest wait of anything. You’ll feel lucky when you spend less than two hours in line for it.
I’m not questioning the greatness of Avatar Flight of Passage. If you love it, that’s wonderful. For me, it’s not “Soarin’ on steroids” like cast members love to say. It’s an augmented reality motorcycle simulator that happens to take place in the sky. I certainly like it better than another famous flight mimicry ride, Peter Pan’s Flight, and it’s on a par with Soarin’ for me. I don’t view it as so much better than I’m willing to wait twice as long to ride it, though.
Na’Vi River Journey
Image: DisneyI’m just going to say it. I like Na’Vi River Journey better than Avatar Flight of Passage. You can clutch your pearls in outrage all you want, but I stand behind this decision. I love Disney boat rides, and I also prefer anything that is slow and indoors, as demonstrated with a couple of my other underrated ride opinions.
Na’Vi River Journey represents the height of Disney’s current boat ride technology, with a stunning Audio-Animatronic at the end. Along the way, you’ll feel like you’re an imperiled visitor on Pandora due to the brilliant combination of digital screens and artfully crafted set pieces. It’s a more immersive ride experience than Avatar Flight of Passage, which matters to me.
I fully understand that others might not feel that way, but I’m more familiar with virtual reality than most. So, it doesn’t impress me in and of itself. On the other hand, Na’Vi River Journey has become the latest in a long line of rides of its ilk. So, it faces a lot of comparative competition. I’m deeply impressed that it stands up so well in the face of Disney’s storied history of boat rides.
