“Don’t believe everything you read,” he says, understanding that you’re currently reading his writing.
Yes, I’m mindful of the mixed message that I’m giving you here. I’m about to explain why you shouldn’t trust every crazy nonsensical rumor that you hear about Disney and the Freemasons or the Illuminati or the Stonecutters or whatever. Here are some Mythbusters on the strangest Disney rumors.
Rumor: Goofy is a cow
Accuracy: FALSE
Image: DisneySometimes, someone gets bored and makes something up entirely. You’ll notice this pattern during today’s discussion. Many of the most famous Disney rumors have no basis in reality and fail the laugh test completely. Even so, they get recited as fact by the gullible and the intellectually dishonest.
For example, an obscure website postured that it had performed exhaustive research on one of the Sensational Six. Their conclusion suggested that Goofy isn’t a dog but instead a cow. Try not to laugh. It’s ridiculous nonsense, of course, but that didn’t stop the idea from trending on social media several years after the original story had published.
The only defensible point in the argument involved Clarabell, a cow and sometimes paramour of Goofy. The writer indicated that in the Disney cartoon realm, mice date mice and ducks date ducks. Ergo, if Clarabell is a cow, Goofy must be a cow.
I shouldn’t have to tell you how stupid this is. In fact, someone needs to tell the original author about cows and bulls. By the writer’s own logic, Goofy wouldn’t be a cow. Goofy doesn’t moo, everyone.
Rumor Walt Disney’s head is in a jar
Accuracy: FALSE
Image: DisneySome truth-seeking websites exist primarily to guide the easily manipulated toward, you know, reality. I mention this because the entire reason that Snopes has become so popular is quite possibly due to a longstanding rumor about Walt Disney.
As everyone has heard, Walt Disney’s head allegedly resides in a cryogenically frozen state in some jar in a lab. This rumor is so old that Snopes first disproved it in 1995, back before most people had heard of the internet…and even before some people reading this were born.
I don’t often use the term cockamamie, but I can think of no better description of this nonsense. For starters, this sort of scientific procedure was barely even possible when Disney died. Someone only suggested the premise a few years before Disney contracted cancer.
Also, the difference in time between something is discussed versus when it’s technologically viable varies greatly. As an example, I’ve mentioned Hyperloop here on several occasions. It’s still a few years away from practical usage, assuming that day ever comes. No functional cryogenic services were available when Disney died. And it wouldn’t have mattered if they were.
The timespan between Walt Disney’s cancer diagnosis and his death was less than two months. Doctors informed him of the gravity of his situation in November of 1966. He died on December 15th, and the speed of his decline surprised all involved.
Disney had worked 10 straight days at one point in November, even after learning he had cancer. If he’d thought he was in jeopardy of dying, he would have taken some time off. He could not research the technological possibilities and challenges of a brand new and scientifically unproven idea like cryogenic freezing.
Rumor: Disney must re-make their movies every 20 years due to Walt’s will
Accuracy: FALSE
Image: DisneySo, Disney has spent the past several years re-making some of the world’s most beloved animated movies. They’ve primarily cycled through the Disney Renaissance era of classics like The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast.
The movie division chose this strategy because they appreciated the lucrative nature of such films. Thanks to special effects advances in the field of CGI renderings, Imagineering wizardry has blurred the lines between what’s real and what’s computer-created. And the company has earned billions of dollars in re-making these films.
Some kind-hearted folks don’t want to believe that Disney makes artistic decisions based on money. For example, a twitter user who went by @samanthapaigeu posted, “i was today years old when i found out that Walt Disney put in his will that all Disney classics are to be re-made every 10 years, so each generation gets to enjoy them” (sic). Roughly 370k likes and 80k retweets later, a scary percentage of Twitter believed her. But it wasn’t true.
Apparently, the user had misread a comment from an article that quipped about the why of Disney re-makes. The following day, after substantial media attention, the person renounced her own claim, stating that she wasn’t sure if it was factual. Soon afterward, the person deleted the account. The post still exists on the internet since everything gets archived, though.
I think you understand why this one isn’t true. Uncle Walt loved and valued innovation over all else. The thought of re-making his own stories likely wouldn’t have appealed to him, at least not as quickly as we’ve seen with 1990s titles.
A 20-year gap is a paltry period to repeat the same story, but as Disney fans, we love the timeless classics so much that we go anyway. It’s not what Walt Disney would have wanted. If it makes us happy, we’re okay with the concession, though, right? Still, it most assuredly wasn’t a part of the company founder’s will.
Rumor: Headless cast members have traumatized small children
Accuracy: TRUE
Image: DisneyNo, this one isn’t grim. I’m not talking about a horrific death that happened in front of children or the like. Instead, I’m referencing the times when Disney’s costumed cast members removed their heads, breaking the illusion.
In some unlikely situations, children have watched this happen, which is admittedly pretty freaky. When someone pops off their head, only to reveal another head, you’re going to remember it, especially if you’re a kid.
This unfortunate turn of events has happened a few times over the years. For example, a family once took an unwanted trip to Disneyland jail. Security officials believed that they were shoplifting and took them to the security facility onsite. The goal was to question everyone and broken a confession.
What happened next was unfortunate. Cast members hung out in this area, and one of them happened to remove their character costume. The 5-year-old and 2-year-old freaked out over this and started crying, which led to a lawsuit.
The family sued Disney for wrongful imprisonment and argued in court documents that the 5-year-old had to visit a therapist for three months afterward. She felt that much grief over the headless Disney character.
Disney actually settled this matter out of court and apparently paid the family a decent sum of money. It would have been cheaper to let them get away with the alleged shoplifting.
Rumor: Turkey legs are emu legs.
Accuracy: FALSE
Image: DisneyNo. Just no.
