Like most of you, I don’t live close to a Disney theme park. Instead, I spend a great deal of time wistfully wishing that I were there instead. I miss the Most Magical and Happiest Places on Earth so much that I’ll sometimes close my eyes and pretend. Here’s a list of my Disney fantasies when I’m not at Disney.
Those lovely words…
Image: DisneyI unashamedly maintain a child’s love for the monorail. I never feel more at Disney than when the doors close and I hear these words for the first time on my trip:
“Por favor manténgase alejado de las puertas.”
Yes, the English version comes first, but “Please stand clear of the doors” isn’t quite as catchy or memorable. It’s the Spanish that reminds me of that glorious moment when the monorail transports me to the Magic Kingdom. So, that’s the first thing I think about when I’m fantasizing about Disney. But I have soooo many more.
Ooh, that smell
Image: DisneyI’ve joked on more than one occasion that my idea of Heaven is spending every day at Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort. This place has my favorite monorail restaurant, pool, and proximity to Epcot via direct monorail. What the Polynesian also has is that divine fragrance that you smell when you enter the Great Ceremonial House. I never want to leave the lobby because I love it so much. I’ve purchased countless candles and machines to recreate the smell, but there’s nothing that quite matches the real thing.
The drive-in theater…
Image: DisneyMy favorite restaurant at Walt Disney World requires a bit of time travel. At Disney’s Hollywood Studios, I can go back to the 1950s and watch movies projected on a giant drive-in screen. These films aren’t high-quality offerings by any stretch. To the contrary, they’re some of the worst ever made…and that’s what I love about them.
The throwback clips example a lost era of television when late-night and weekend viewing involved whatever the local cable channel could afford…which wasn’t much. When I watch the film roll at the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater, I’m remembering why I fell in love with movies in the first place. Even the lousy stuff is entertaining in its own way, and that’s why I think about this restaurant a lot when I’m not in Orlando.
Kawaii shopping…
Image: DisneyNot everything that I love about Disney is because of me. I’m in one of those disgusting relationships where my partner and I really like each other. You know the kind. We finish each other’s sentences and whatnot. It’s gross.
I take a lot my satisfaction in life from pleasing my wife. One of the purest forms of joy for her is shopping at Mitsukoshi Store at the Japan Pavilion. She can destroy a credit card limit in the blink of an eye here, buying everything from kimonos to home decorations to all of her favorite anime and videogame merchandise.
Her love of Mitsukoshi is why I never struggle to find good Christmas presents. It’s also why I watch every shopping video of this store, always searching for new gift ideas.
Riding in a scary vehicle…
Image: DisneyI’m listing these Disney fantasies in order of how often that I have them. And one of my favorites involves a ride through a Haunted Mansion. Whenever I board the Doom Buggy and hear the voice of the Ghost Host for the first time, I know that I’m about to feel entertained. By the moment that the bar lowers itself and I set course on a supernatural adventure, I’m giddy with anticipation for all of my beloved high points from the attraction. Haunted Mansion is one of the greatest rides ever built, and my exuberance starts with the Doom Buggy.
Riding in a quasi-futuristic vehicle…
Image: DisneyBut while I adore the Doom Buggy, it’s only the second-dearest ride cart in my heart. First place will always belong to the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover, the greatest form of public transportation that never came to fruition.
Walt Disney’s dream for Progress City included a great deal of forward-thinking with regards to public transportation. Cars weren’t intended as an integral part of it, but monorails and PeopleMovers were. While his vision never became our reality, whenever I board the PeopleMover, I can almost see that alternate universe where it exists. And that brief look at Progress City drives the point home, too.
The PeopleMover is one of my top two rides at Walt Disney World. No Disney fantasy would be complete without it.
Boarding a remarkable spaceship…
Image: DisneyFrom a distance, Spaceship Earth embodies the Imagineering tenet of doing the impossible. What I love about it, however, is the interior. I get nervous whenever I hear rumors about renovations to Spaceship Earth the attraction, because it’s my favorite at Walt Disney World.
I went to Epcot back when it was still called EPCOT Center, and I remember moments from those childhood visits. I would gaze at the wonders that somehow combined herculean feats of design with child-friendly and informational aspects.
While others eschew the thought of infotainment, I’ve always embraced it. Epcot is one of the main reasons why. And when I shut my eyes, I remember every majestic scene on Spaceship Earth, relishing in how cleverly it all comes together as a history of humanity.
Disney shopping…
Image: DisneyEarlier, I mentioned where my wife likes to shop. While I love the Kawaii culture of cute, too, my ideal place to shop at Walt Disney World is right there on the world-famous fourth floor of Disney’s Contemporary Resort.
Bayview Gifts is one of the largest in-hotel stores that Disney owns, and it has seemingly everything from confectionaries to kitchenware to luggage. There are even a few high-priced paintings on the walls behind the checkout counter.
I think about this place so much that I regularly check YouTube to watch the latest videos of theme park tourists visiting this store. I need to know when they have new merchandise and precisely what it is.
Dining and hugging…
Image: DisneyLook, I’m a grown man. I can’t be walking around town, hugging people in mascot costumes. There’s a word for that group: Furry. I’m not looking to join that particular bandwagon.
When I fantasize about Disney, however, I remember all of those times when my good buddy, Goofy, walked up to me and started pranking me. That dog just will. NOT. leave me alone. Whether I’m at Chef Mickey’s or Hollywood & Vine or Cape May Cafe, he finds me. And he won’t leave me alone until I’m laughed myself silly.
I’m a sucker for a funny person in a costume. And that’s the calling card of so many terrific character meals at Walt Disney World. I think about them so much when I’m not there, particularly my favorite, the Best Friends Breakfast featuring Lilo & Stitch at ‘Ohana.
Walking around the world…
Image: DisneyNot counting the United States, ten different countries have a presence at Epcot’s World Showcase. Over the course of a 1.3-mile walk, I can visit all of them. As I wander this themed land, I learn about international cultures and sample global cuisine. That goes double when the park hosts international festivals.
I strongly believe that the World Showcase represents the best of Disney. It’s historically significant due to Uncle Walt’s love of the 1964 New York World’s Fair. And it’s politically significant since it demonstrates that people from all different cultures get along swimmingly. They just need to find common ground…like a shared love of Disney.
The World Showcase is sublime. I think about it often when I’m sitting at home getting depressed about the news.
The sense of community…
Image: DisneyYou know how you feel when you hear someone at the mall say something nasty about someone else? Or when a customer is a jerk to the cashier at the store? Or the road rage you get when someone cuts you off in traffic? At home, you’ll experience all of the highs and lows of modern living.
At Walt Disney World, you’re comfortably ensconced in the Disney Bubble, that fantastical realm where everyone gets along. I talk to more strangers at Disney than I do in my own backyard. Now, part of that is because I’m kind of internal by nature, but the euphoria of the Disney vacation loosens everyone up to the point that they’ll happily converse with strangers.
When I think about Disney, I accept that it’s the place that I wish everywhere else was like. That “Happiest Place on Earth” marketing slogan has a strong basis in fact.
