A trip to Walt Disney World is a magical and special thing. It’s a time to bond with people you love, explore a beautiful and immersive space, and experience thrills, chills, and spills that you’ll remember forever.
But, in addition to being these things, a trip to Walt Disney World is also a master class in self-delusion.
You see, no matter how many times you go to Walt Disney World, and no matter how many times you tell yourself otherwise, there will always be a few things in a Disney trip that require you to lie to yourself.
These aren’t necessarily big lies, or even meaningful lies. But still, they’re lies you tell yourself on your trip — usually at the beginning. Let’s break a few down:
I will be at the parks at rope drop
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No, you won’t. If everyone who intended on being at the parks at rope drop actually got to the parks for rope drop, it wouldn’t be the sure-fire line-cutting tip we all know it to be.
It’s a vacation, and on vacations, things tend to slow down. Maybe your daughter wanted to sleep in. Maybe your husband needed to wander aimlessly around the resort while sipping coffee. Maybe your aunt and cousin went in search of breakfast and have been gone just way too long. No matter what the reason, the best laid plans of Mickey Mouse often end in a late arrival at the park gate.
It’s not the end of the world — even being there 30 minutes after rope drop can help with crowds. But you surely will tell yourself this trip will be different. And, almost just as surely, it won’t be.
I will take a mid day nap
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It seems like an obviously great idea: Pausing the tour around 2 or 3 PM so you can return to your hotel room and have a nap or a swim. Then, once you’ve re-energized, you can return to the parks once more.
On the surface, this makes total sense. After all, you’ve spent so much money on staying at a Disney resort, why not maximize that money? But, rarely do things work out as well in practice as they do in theory.
Usually, what happens is that right around the pre-scheduled break time, everyone is still feeling energetic and ready to go. So, instead of heading back to the resort, you choose to persevere and keep on touring the parks. But then, an hour or so later, the exhaustion hits. Only now, it’s too late to really take a break.
This, of course, leads to the grand tradition of the Hall of Presidents power nap. Or, alternatively, the patented Fantasyland temper tantrum.
You’ll fully intend on taking this break when you arrive at the park, but you’ll blow right on through it once it comes. Don’t even fight it at this point.
I won’t go too crazy on food
Image: aloha75, Flickr (license)
It’s deceptively easy to avoid the crazy food items at Walt Disney World. You have to go out of the way to find some of the biggest and richest meals on property. You can use a budget to force yourself to stick to healthier and simpler items in the parks or food courts.
And yet, no matter how much self-discipline you attempt to apply, Disney is a magical wonderland of culinary delights. Us mortals are completely powerless to resist its urges.
Whether its the ice cream shop or confectionaries on Main Street USA, or the French bakery in Epcot, or even Ample Hills Creamery at the Boardwalk Resort, there is delicious and deeply unhealthy food everywhere you look at Walt Disney World. It’s a land of temptation, and no matter how good your will power is, you will succumb to its chocolate-covered siren song.
I won’t fight with the people I’m traveling with
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Generally, this tends to apply to family gatherings at the Vacation Kingdom. But, on occasion, friend groups can be torn asunder at the hand of travel exhaustion, too.
It is inevitable that, no matter how many ground rules you set, you will grow irritated with people you’re spending an entire week living alongside in a hotel room. You may promise not to snap or take things personally, but as anyone who has traveled with others can attest, that is easier said than done.
Maybe you’ll disagree over which attraction to do next. Or, maybe you’ll struggle to pick a restaurant to try. Whatever the reason, you will find that you get on each other’s nerves and, no matter how hard you try, you’ll have a mini-scuffle.
You can, however, resolve not to take it personally.
I’ll stay out late
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Between mini golf, shopping, movies, Extra Magic Hours, bars, pools, and special events, there’s always something going on after hours at Walt Disney World. But, sometimes, it can be hard to find the energy to participate in it.
After a long day spent exploring four of the most incredible theme parks on the face of the earth, while battling the oppressive Florida sun, it can be a challenge to muster up the energy to reconvene for a night out. Sure, you might tell yourself in the morning that you’ll go see that movie at the Disney Springs AMC, or you promise yourself that you’ll check out the scene at Trader Sam’s before heading off to your All-Star room.
But, as we all know, those are complete fabrications. You will go back to your hotel room and you will go to sleep. After all, you didn’t take that nap you were planning on taking earlier.
It’s too expensive and I’m not coming back
Image: philliecasablanca, Flickr (license)
If it’s your first time to Walt Disney World, and you find yourself having a good time but not truly loving it, then it’s easy to say, “Well, this wasn’t worth the money. We’re not doing this again.”
But, if you’re a Disney fan who’s grown disenchanted with the ever-increasing cost of tickets and resort rooms, and you’ve vowed never to return again, it’s time to admit it: You’re lying to yourself.
None of us likes to admit we’re so attached to this place that we’ll spend ungodly amounts of money to spend time there — amounts of money that, intellectually, we understand are just far too much. But we need to face facts. Yes, Disney is too expensive, but we’re still gonna go. We were never not gonna go.
Maybe the next trip will be in five years instead of three, or you’ll stay at the Port Orleans French Quarter instead of the Polynesian. But this lie was never going to be true.
Why else would you start planning your next trip the moment you get home from this one?
