If you’ve spent much time in Disney theme parks, you’ve probably noticed a few trends in the types of guests you encounter there. A seasoned Cast Member can often spot these characteristics from a mile away, but you too can play the game of “Name that Tourist.”
While these profiles may offer a somewhat flamboyant example of each character, you’ll find them roaming the parks in varying degrees. See how many you spot the next time you’re there.
1. The Crazy Pin Trader
Image via Flickr by Sam Howzit
Distinguishing Characteristics: A vest, bag, and hat liberally covered in pins. Lanyards are for rookies.
Favorite Saying: “Can I see your pins?”
Most Common Activities: Browsing pin stores, eyeing up Cast Member lanyards, and shooting superior looks to less seasoned traders
Pin trading is a popular activity for guests of all ages, but Crazy Pin Trader takes it to a whole new level with elaborate outfits heavily weighed down with these treasures. And you can bet he’s only wearing a small portion of his stash. Crazy Pin Trader seems imposing with all that metal, but he’s really harmless. If you want to know more about these collectibles, go ahead and engage him, but if you’re not interested in hearing the story behind how he scored that rare specimen, avoid eye contact.
2. The Confused First-Timer
Distinguishing Characteristics: Brand new shoes and lost expression. Watch out, this guest makes frequent unexpected U-turns.
Favorite Saying: Anything that includes totally butchered names of popular attractions. He’s always looking for the “Haunted House,” “Mitterhorn,” “New Frontierland,” the “President’s Hall of Fame,” and the “Jungle Safari.”
Most Common Activities: Looking desperately for attractions that are in other areas of the park – or other parks entirely.
There’s no shame in being new, so tread gently with these poor confused guests. The good news is that you’re unlikely to become one of them by the sheer fact that you’re reading this blog. Not all first-timers are confused, and many go in armed to the teeth with everything they need to know for a stellar vacation. It’s the guests who don’t bother to prepare, and show up at Magic Kingdom looking for Disneyland who can have a troublesome time.
3. The Entitled Annual Passholder
Distinguishing Characteristics: Overwhelming air of superiority, Passholder slider on his Magic Band
Favorite Saying: “But I’m a passholder.”
Most Common Activities: Carefully critiquing all aspects of the park’s presentation and Cast Member decorum. Offering ample unsolicited advice to parties around them.
Undoubtedly, there are many guests with annual passes who go about their day quietly, but the Entitled Annual Passholder is an entirely different creature. This guest knows he spent a fortune on that pass and is absolutely determined both to squeeze every penny out of it, and to let everyone else know what he’s doing. He expects preferential treatment above and beyond the norm, and is quick to spot anything out of place. Don’t be surprised to hear all about how the yeti on Everest is nothing like he was during the preview, or to get a complete rundown of the best menu items at every restaurant – even though you never asked.
4. The Disney-Obsessed
Distinguishing Characteristics: Complete character costumes or head-to-toe Disney attire topped with wigs, jewelry, and elaborate makeup
Favorite Saying: “Did you know?”
Most Common Activities: Tripping blithely through the parks, singing Disney songs, and prattling off Disney trivia
The Disney-Obsessed is another harmless creature who really only stands out thanks to outrageous outfits. If you’re dressed like Minnie Mouse complete with a tail, it’s not exactly a secret that your love for Walt’s creation may go a bit beyond the average guest’s interest. While other guests may argue about their labels, the Disney-Obsessed isn’t afraid to own it. They are, after all, some of the only visitors to appreciate every last hidden Mickey and Imagineer detail in all its fascinating glory.
5. The Harried Parent
Distinguishing Characteristics: Stained clothing and a frantic expression
Favorite Saying: “Stay right here.”
Most Common Activities: Corralling children and dealing with disasters
No one knows about the “hurry up and wait” routine of a Disney vacation better than the Harried Parent. These guests typically have very small children and are trapped between the desire to provide a magical, wondrous, unforgettable vacation, and the need to keep everyone fed, clean, and safely paired up with someone else in the party. While it’s easy to look on and wonder why these guests can’t keep the baby quiet and toddler in line, it’s best to keep these thoughts to yourself. No one is happier to have an excuse to vent a little steam than a Harried Parent who spent the last ten minutes sopping up what was hopefully just apple juice from a stroller seat.
While not every guest falls into a certain category, some of these predictable individuals are sure to be lurking around the parks in varying degrees nearly every day.
