Disney World is the most magical place on earth, but some of the attractions scattered throughout the parks have lost their appeal over the years. (Other attractions never had much appeal to begin with.) There are lots of ways to spruce up these rides and shows, and most of them wouldn’t require a ton of money, at least by Disney standards. As much as I love Disney World and all it has to offer, there are some things that simply must go. If I could choose the next attractions for a rehab, these would be the top ones on the list.
Editor’s Note: Savannah’s opinions in no way reflect those of Theme Park Tourist or its staff.
1. Expedition Everest at Animal Kingdom
When it was built, Expedition Everest was the most expensive roller coaster in the world. The moving yeti was a huge part of that cost. Unlike today’s yeti, the original animatronic lunged towards guests during the ride, and the effect was supposedly awesome. However, like many guests, I’ve never gotten to see this in person because the yeti broke just a few months after the ride opened to the public.
Disney imagineers claim they will fix the yeti at some point in the future, but it’s been almost ten years now, and we still have a nonworking yeti. I’m sure many guests would agree that this is something that should be fixed pronto because the ride just isn’t the same without it.
2. Captain EO at Epcot
In case you’ve never wandered into this little theater in Epcot, you should know that Captain EO is a much better show in theory than it is in execution. Guests who hear there’s a Michael Jackson-themed show at Disney World get very excited, and why wouldn’t they? Michael is a pop culture icon, and his dance moves and singing are legendary.
Captain EO, however, is probably the worst thing he’s ever done. I’d heard this 3D show was bad, but like many naïve guests, I wondered, “How bad can it be, really? I mean, Michael Jackson is in it.” The answer is very, very bad. It’s boring, the story doesn’t make sense, and even the dancing is kind of “meh.” Instead of this experience, Disney should make a film that’s an homage to music, in general. It could be a history of music that shows various bands, concert clips, and music video cilps from over the years. It’d be particularly awesome if they made it a sing-along event, much like the Frozen one at Hollywood Studios. This one, while being kid-friendly, would be more for adults and teenagers, though.
3. Stitch’s Great Escape! at Magic Kingdom
If you ask adult Disney guests their opinion of Stitch’s Great Escape!, you’ll be answered with a yawn. If you ask children, you’ll get a look of sheer terror. Neither of these is really want Disney wants from a family attraction.
In an effort to make the original attraction, ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter, less terrifying for young audiences, Disney somehow managed to make it boring for adults but just as scary for kids. The thrill is gone for anyone over the age of twelve, the story behind the ride is more boring than ever, but the addition of Stitch doesn’t tone the scary parts down enough for young kids.
Unfortunately, I can’t really think of anything Disney can do to “fix” this ride/show. I think it’s about time for a completely new attraction. To save money, Disney could use the same fixtures to make a Star Wars-themed show. They could remove the tube in the center of the room and replace it with holograms of various characters from the movies. These characters could then interact with the audience by using “the force” and talking to specific audience members (a la Turtle Talk with Crush). The show could be featured as a Jedi Training class, and perhaps a Sith Lord could interrupt the formalities to stir things up a bit. Star Wars will be overtaking Hollywood Studios soon enough, but there’s room for the franchise at Magic Kingdom, too.
4. Ellen’s Energy Adventure at Epcot
Ellen’s Energy Adventure is a good idea, but it’s just way too long for most audiences. An easy fix would be to cut the pre-show completely and edit the main show down to about half its current length.
However, to really grab audience attention, the ride needs an overhaul. It could still focus on dinosaurs, but the show is completely unnecessary. They should just expand the ride-through section and talk about dinosaurs throughout the trip. Riders could stop in front of various creatures for an overview of each genus. The pre-show area could be converted to a museum of sorts, with interactive exhibits and fossils.
5. The Magic Carpets of Aladdin at Magic Kingdom
The Magic Carpets are completely unnecessary, in my opinion. The Magic Kingdom already has two similar rides, AstroOrbiter and Dumbo. The carpets should be removed, and Disney could use this area for something else—a show, a covered seating area, or whatever they like.
However, Aladdin needs to be represented at Disney World, and the series of movies are definitely popular enough to warrant a big attraction. Disney should follow Universal’s path and construct a ride that’s similar to Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. Guests could “fly” on the magic carpet through various parts of Agrabah, and the ride’s finale could be a daring escape from the Cave of Wonders.
None of these ideas are likely to happen, but I can’t help wishing for some exciting new rides and shows at my favorite theme park. Disney just doesn’t like to add any attractions until it’s absolutely necessary, which is why so many rides get old and stale before they’re replaced.
The company should really capitalize on some of its most popular films from the 80s and 90s, in my opinion. Adults who visit Disney World with their kids today are the same people who grew up with classics like Aladdin, The Lion King, and more. Quite frankly, Disney attractions today are either too outdated or too new for the interests of this generation. Universal Studios somehow manages to keep up with the latest technology trends, tweaking their rides and attractions before guests get bored; why can’t Disney do the same?
