Disney fans are a collection of individuals from around the globe who are connected by their shared love for the company, the films, and the theme parks. While each person brings his or her own personality to Disney fandom, the ways in which that love is expressed tend to fall into just a few basic categories. While all are lovable in their own ways, some are a bit more lovable than others, at least to everyone around them. Here’s a look at the 5 best and worst types of Disney fan.
Best
1. The helper
The helper tends to hang out on Disney fan forums between trips. He is the first to welcome newcomers, and never seems to get annoyed when the same basic questions come up again and again. He is usually good at complex problem-solving, and can quickly come up with a viable answer for a question like, “So we have 3 actual adults and 4 ‘Disney adults’ and 2 children. One has sensory issues, 2 have huge appetites, and 6 are vegetarians. Three want to eat with characters and 4 won’t go near a crowded character buffet. Should we get the Dining Plan?” At the parks, the helper is usually found approaching people who are staring at a map, offering to provide directions or even advice.
2. The storyteller
A natural-born showman, the storyteller has been going to the parks for years and has had lots of interesting adventures along the way. He’s never met a stranger, and can get an entire roomful of people laughing hysterically over the time his kid fell in the moat at Cinderella’s Castle. Never boorish or boring, the storyteller has a knack for reading his audience and only telling the stories they want to hear. Even better? Unlike traditional “fish stories,” the storyteller’s tales are at least mostly true.
3. The planner
This Disney fan is a master at figuring out FastPass+, show times, and the least congested routes through the park. To the uninitiated, it seems that things just materialize for him as if by magic, from nearly empty standby lines to tables at the hardest to score restaurants on property. But all this seeming luck is really the result of tremendously hard work behind the scenes coupled with an encyclopedic knowledge of crowd patterns and throughputs. Fortunately, the planner loves what he does and considers the planning to be part of the fun, so he never stresses out if things don’t go his way. Everyone he knows asks him to plan their Disney trips, and he’s great at creating detailed instructions, so all they have to do is show up and enjoy.
4. The free spirit
The polar opposite of the planner in some respects, the free spirit really just has different priorities. He’s seen and done it all so many times that he’s perfectly content to sit on a bench with an adult beverage and let the world go by. Yet if something is a big deal to you, the free spirit will spring into action to get it done. This live and let live Disney fan is a real joy to travel with, because you never have to worry about him getting upset over doing or not doing anything.
5. The historian
The historian adores the back story behind the parks and attractions, and learning about why things are the way they are today. He has a vast knowledge of the past, and is the go-to person if you want to know why the Penny Arcade closed or what used to be located where the Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor is today. Yet the historian is in no way stuck in the past. He might agree or disagree with specific changes, but he’s just as eager to log the next 30 years of evolution.
Worst
1. The nostalgia buff
All Disney fans are nostalgic for something, whether it was a favorite childhood ride or the simpler time before FastPass+. But the majority of fans are able to enjoy what works for them at the moment, and to acknowledge when a change is actually for the better. The nostalgia buff, however, is anti-progress in any way, shape, or form. Before an upgraded attraction opens, he is shouting from the rooftops about how bad it will be, and no matter what the actual result is, he will never give it a fair shake. The nostalgia buff is often spotted around the parks giving a dissertation on exactly what stood where when, and exactly who was in charge when it went away, often to a group whose eyes are starting to glaze over.
2. The director
The director is the extreme version of the planner. Rather than developing a loose itinerary that can be changed as needed, the director insists that every moment be spent in the way that he envisioned. If anyone wants to go off the plan, the director has a visceral emotional reaction to what he perceives as a personal attack. Directors can be seen around the parks staring at their watches, shaking their heads as they consult printed schedules, or yelling at their parties about messing up the plan.
3. The cheerleader
While nostalgia buffs go too far in automatically hating everything new that Disney presents, cheerleaders represent the opposite extreme. To them, Disney is the hallowed promised land, and every single thing about it is absolutely perfect. Whether it is a price increase, an attraction closure, or a lack of attention to detail, whenever a conversation turns to Disney problems, cheerleaders are right there to shout down the dissenters. Wearing giant Mickey-sized blinders, they not only accept whatever comes their way, but insist that others do the same. Their favorite refrain is along the lines of, “Don’t like it? Don’t come!”
4. The death march leader
While the director is controlling, the death march leader takes it to a whole new extreme. The death march leader is absolutely determined to wring the most out of every cent he paid, and no act of God or human frailty is going to ruin that mission. Death march leaders can be seen dragging screaming children onto rides, pressing on through crashing lightning storms, and threatening to leave behind party members who need a bathroom stop.
5. The spieler
Rare indeed is the Disney fan who has never sung along with the Pirates of the Caribbean or whispered the Haunted Mansion Stretching Room spiel under his breath. But the spieler has (at least in his own mind) a perfect recall of every word that is sung or spoken at every Disney attraction. And he is determined to show off that knowledge by belting out his own soundtrack at top volume. Spielers also tend to get angry when a human performer deviates from their own mental version of the script.
What kind of Disney fan are you? What other archetypes have you seen in the parks? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!
