Internet arguments comprise something like 80 percent of all communications. The other 70 percent involve funny animal videos. And I think another 20 involves something called Gangnam Style. These stats are arbitrary, fictitious, and mathematically incorrect, but that’s not the point. Internet arguments don’t need to have points. All they need to do is make a person so angry that they break a nail typing a vicious reply.
Even The Walt Disney Company, the home of Mickey Mouse and all his huggable friends, isn’t immune to the passions of online debate. Some topics all but guarantee spirited responses, and both sides of the argument are firmly entrenched in their positions. Since I always wanted to become a lion tamer when I grew up (for all you know, that’s true), I’m going to stick my head in the big cat’s mouth long enough to discuss some of these. Start grabbing your torches and pitchforks! I’m about to discuss three of the greatest flame war subjects involving Disney.
What’s your favorite Disney park?
Image: Disney
Disney’s Civil War officially involves Captain America and Iron Man. If you ever want to turn an entire community of Disney fans against one another, however, you don’t need the Winter Soldier performing acts of villainy to light the fuse. Instead, all you have to do is ask people which park is their favorite.
Answers run the gamut, and each one reveals a bit about the person responding. One of the most sentimental aspects of a Disney vacation is that it reminds so many people of their youth. They recall that first time that their parents brought them to a Disney park, and it has oftentimes crystallized in their mind as the perfect day they wish they could recall more fondly.
The underlying thought process here is beautiful. The reality probably isn’t as warm and fuzzy as you remember it since virtually all Disney theme parks are in temperate environments. They also involve a lot of standing in line. Children aren’t great in either of these conditions. During that halcyon memory from your youth, you probably cried at least some, possibly a lot.
Image: Disney
The way that you irritated and/or mortified your parents isn’t the point, though. Instead, it’s that you learned Disney at a young age, and now you like to share that joy with others. Generally, that involves your recommending your favorite park to them. If you’re Californian, you’re likely to say Disneyland, noting that it’s the original and the only one crafted under Walt Disney’s oversight. That’s a completely valid argument.
Those of us who live in the south, especially in Florida, are likely to answer with a park from Walt Disney World. Since Magic Kingdom is the most trafficked theme park on the planet, it’ll get more responses due to the sheer volume of its proponents. Parents of young children as well as animal lovers are likely to argue Animal Kingdom instead. Fans of movies or thrill rides would throw their support toward Hollywood Studios, and that’ll become even more accurate when Star Wars Land opens. Finally, a few people like me who admire Walt Disney for his vision and optimism embrace Epcot, even if it didn’t quite live up to its projection as the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. It’s still singularly unique in the annals of theme park history.
I’ve already mentioned five American parks (without including Disney’s California Adventure, which rarely comes out well in internet discussions), and I haven’t even mentioned some of the best Disney parks in the world. The recently opened Shanghai Disney Resort includes the most current and technically impressive attractions of any Disney park to date. Similarly, Tokyo DisneySea offers some of the finest themed lands on the planet. Even Disneyland Paris, with its reputation for financial struggles and lackluster cleaning standards, enjoys support in some circles. It is the most popular tourist attraction in Europe, after all.
Perhaps more than any other topic on this list, your favorite Disney park identifies the type of person you are as well as your life experiences, whether they’re recent or from your childhood. That’s the power of Disney aptly summarized. It places a permanent stamp on your personality and memories.
Should I get the dining plan?
Image: Disney
Hoo boy. Anytime somebody asks this, I batten down the hatches and prefer for the coming onslaught. If the internet offered a siren indicating impending flame war, this topic would trigger the sound every time. Strangers really, really care about how you choose to pay for your meals. It’s, like, important to them.
Opponents of the Disney Dining Plan (DDP) view the situation from a cost perspective. They don’t believe that anything is free, so when Disney says “Free Dining Plan”, what they really mean is that they’ve already raised the price of rooms and tickets in the package to offset the cost. That’s completely true.
They also maintain that the dining plan includes too many restrictions and too much food. The restrictions come from the fact that not all restaurants participate, alcohol isn’t a beverage option, and the “free” somehow doesn’t include tipping, a critical oversight in such packages. As for the too much food part, that’s again a valid complaint. A person trying to get the most for their money will feel a compulsion to eat an appetizer, entrée, and dessert at each meal. If you’re staying five days, you’re eating the equivalent of a fast food meal for lunch every day then a three-course meal for supper. You’ll need to diet the moment you get home to work off that weight.
Image: Disney
Proponents of the dining plan enjoy it for a couple of reasons. The first is that the dining plan comes with a fixed cost. If it’s not a part of a Free Dining Plan, the DDP is more expensive than simply paying per meal in most instances. That’s especially for guests who participate in the Tables in Wonderland program.
Still, a person who adds the DDP knows ahead of time exactly how much money they’ll pay for meals at Disney, save for tips, a negligible concern. Thanks to that fixed cost, they’ll know where and what they can eat plus the eligible restaurants and foods. They’ll get at least a snack a day per person (some versions of the plan include more than one), and they’ll also receive a drink mug they can refill at stations through Walt Disney World. Since vacation expenses are all but impossible to calculate ahead of time, knowing ahead of time – and, if you’re proactive, also paying ahead of time – removes a level of stress from the trip.
Most important, Disney offers some of the finest restaurants on the planet. The DDP guarantees that you can enjoy at least two quality meals each day, one of which will be at a Table Service restaurant. I’ve been going to Disney theme parks since I was five-years-old. In that entire time, I’ve had exactly one terrible Table Service meal…and if I mentioned the name of the restaurant where it happened, I’d start another flame war since it’s one of the most popular theme park meals in the world. Disney’s consistency across their restaurants makes eating there a foodie’s dream. Thanks to the DDP, you can do so without feeling stressed when the bill comes.
Do you plan ahead for Disney trips?
Image: Disney
This is the only flame war topic where Disney weighs in. The Parks and Resorts division of The Walt Disney Company desperately wants their guests to plan ahead as much as possible. When theme park tourists do so, Disney employees are better able to anticipate things like park traffic, restaurant throughput, merchandise sales, and inventory volume needed. From a business perspective, the dream scenario is for customers to know what they want, especially when they’re willing to spell it out in advance.
Vacationers don’t care about Disney’s needs, though. What matters is a tourist’s own happiness. Planning is stressful. It requires a lot of attention to detail and a shocking amount of Google-ing. When you’re ready to get away from it all to visit the Happiest Place on Earth, you don’t want to spend a lot of time sweating the details. You don’t want to think about booking hotel reservations 7-11 months ahead of time, something Disney Vacation Club members frequently do. You don’t like booking restaurant reservations 180 days ahead of time. You might not even know what you want to eat tonight! And you also don’t want to schedule your FastPasses 30-60 days before you get to Disney. It’s a pain, right?
Okay, I’m going to stop right there. A few people were unmistakably shaking their heads negatively during several of the statements in the preceding paragraph. That’s because they feel exactly the opposite. And I’m one of them. No, I don’t know what I’m having for dinner tonight…and I’m writing this at 6 p.m. I do, however, like knowing that when I visit Disney during my trip next month, I’ll have reservations at Sci-Fi Dine-In, my favorite Disney restaurant, that guarantee I’ll be seated quickly. Similarly, I like knowing that I won’t have to stand in line for Frozen Ever After, especially after some of the horror stories I’ve read about waiting in the line queue for an attraction that breaks down a lot.
I’m not even a planner. If I don’t know what I’m having for dinner, how could I be? I simply like that Disney rewards people who do their homework ahead of time. People who view the situation similarly understand that it really doesn’t take long to book a few dinner reservations ahead of time. Similarly, the FastPass system only requires guests to whip out their cellphones and load the My Disney Experience app. They’re not asking for much. In exchange for these modest arrangements, a theme park tourist will have a much less chaotic experience at the parks, which I consider critical since every day at a Disney theme park includes a little bit of chaos.
Plus, I like the feeling I get by planning this stuff when I’m not at Disney. I find myself reminded of those sentimental moments referenced above. Every second spent planning for Disney is like a temporary break from the real world when you might as well be at Disney since it’s all you’re thinking about. Life could use more of those pleasant daydreams. I understand why people don’t like the DDP or might disagree on their favorite park, but I think that planning gets a bad rap in flame wars.
Okay, so those are the three divisive topics of the day. Feel free to fill the comments section with your opinions on each one, telling me why I’m wrong. I merely ask you NOT to have a flame war while doing so.
